Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Embracing the Path.............



"Human plans, no matter how wise or well advised, cannot stand against the Lord"
Proverbs 21:30


As I read that verse today I almost laughed out loud at the reality of that verse in my life. Since Ellie's birth...no actually since her conception...we had been planning,dreaming and praying of the day when we would not be paying childcare anymore, the prospects of me getting a masters would allow me to get a different position, Eric would actively look for a job where he felt more fulfilled, and we would find a house and live out happily in the town of Lynchburg! Our intentions, of course, were couched with our desire to honor the Lord in all that we did. We truly thought that the years ahead would be fruitful, but we would be patient and wait to see how and when He moved....towards those plans!!I think back to a year ago today when I had no idea what was ahead of our family.
While we knew that Eric wanted to find a new job the news of his eminent lay off still sent shock waves through our lives....and our plans. Once over that shock we felt sure as we planned carefully he would be able to find a job locally and we would once again continue forward with our plans. I had just started my masters but that was mostly paid for and it would eventually lead me to a different position so it seemed "all well within the plans"
Then the news of Eric's dad's health. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away in January. Because of Eric's unemployment he was able to go spend time with his Dad. It was the beiginning of our focus turning on ALL things being in control of our sovereign Lord, even those things not within our plan. When he returned he fell head first into job hunting. When nothing...I mean NOTHING seemed to be opeing up for him. it is not that I questioned the Lord's sovereignty, but I realized that I needed to let go of this dream and plan that we so whole heartedly held on to! It obviously was not going to go as "I had planned!"
As the story goes we surrendered that plan and now have a whole new plan that has been so perfectly laid out that we could not have possibly planned it ourselves. (which by the way is a great sign that it is indeed God's plan!) In 8 weeks (yikes!) we will be moving to Missouri into a house that is ours...my husband has a wonderful job, I will have completed my masters, and yes....we will not be paying ANY childcare. You see...the plan we had ----though wise and well advised--- cannot stand against the Lord's!
Wow! what a journey this has been.
-We have been one year on half the income that we "needed"and no need has gone unmet!
- I will have my masters degree finished in December!
-We have longed for Eric to be somewhere that his talents are used and appreciated and that he is challenged to grow and learn-- and that is exactly where he is at.
-We have paid childcare for almost 10 straight years....and can say a hearty amen to that being OVER!
-The home we are about to acquire is just about more than I could have ever imagined.The fact that we can call it "ours" is just overwhelming!
The list goes on and on and ON! I look back to our "plans". We did not seek them selfishly or with haste. We seriously laid those desires before the Lord. Until today I would have said that our plans were totally changed and rearranged. But as I read that verse this morning, it hit me that our true desires were not just met...they were exceeded! WOW! My appreciation and knowledge of His faithfulness has exploded.
As I think about the challenges that lie ahead and lie in front of me as I write this, I am encouraged to know that "Human plans, no matter how wise or well advised, cannot stand against the Lord" Proverbs 21:30

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Hacked, Smacked, But Back on Track!





Recently my computer was hacked into! What a crazy day that unfolded after it happened. Apparently my hotmail account that I have had since I got married was compromised (along with 40,00 other people) and the person(s) got into my email, then into my facebook and began to impersonate me. They began asking for money, stating that we were mugged at knife point, Ellie was injured, etc. It was crazy. Even crazier is that I was sitting at the computer and watched it unfold and could do nothing about it. When I realized that in a matter of minutes I was locked out of my email and my facebook I felt like I had gotten smacked in the face! Shortly after it happened I got a barrage of phone calls making sure I was indeed OK and not in need of assistance. After reporting it, getting my computer cleaned out, and making a slew of phone calls, etc. life has begun to settle down. The most unfortunate aspect of it all is the information I lost in my email account. I had archived a lot of information, assignments,and I lost all of my contact information. It really has been quite a hassle and inconvenience in my life.
After getting over the frustration and shock of being a computerized victim, I have settled back into my routine. I have gotten my computer back and feel a little more connected. For once, I am truly glad I have no assets! I am sure that if they investigated stealing MY identity, they quickly changed their minds. But it did cause me to think. What if someone really could look into my identity....my true identity.... what would they find?
Would they be able to see my identity that I have in Christ or my preoccupation with myself?

Would they see that my time and energy is funneled into activities that honor Christ or honor my own desires?

Would there be enough evidence to show that I am 100% in love with the Lord or just when it is convenient and others are watching?

Would they be able to see my trust and faith in the Lord through all circumstances or just when it is easy to praise Him or I am at the end of my rope?

While I have been inconvenienced with my computer, it has caused me to think and pray for a life lived where others can see where my true identity lies. May this experience of being hacked and smacked...be just another way the Lord keeps me on track!

2 Corinthians 5

1 For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. 2 We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. 3 For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies.[a] 4 While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life. 5 God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit.
6 So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. 7 For we live by believing and not by seeing. 8 Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. 9 So whether we are here in this body or away from this body, our goal is to please him. 10 For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Prayer for the Strongwilled Child, Lessons from a 5 year old




Recently a friend posted something entitled Prayer for your Preteen. It was a prayer to pray over your child as they enter those tenatious years of a teenager. While I absolutely loved the prayer, my thoughts immediately pondered the events of the day. I had come to blows with my younger, strongwilled one and ended up in utter frustration. After tears and pleading I wrote this prayer.....Prayer for the Strongwilled child

Dear Lord,
You gave me this child who has such a strong personality help me to channel that strength to do great things for you.

When her actions are demonstrative and emphatic, help me redirect her and pray that someday she will be demonstrative and emphatic for you.

When her actions seem impetuous and impulsive, help me redirect her and pray that she will someday act in kindness and love to someone in need without hesitating or thinking.

When her voice seems to be decibels above everyone elses' just to share something, help me to redirect her and pray that someday she will proclaim your love "loudly" by her actions.

When her words fly from her tongue and seek to demand her own way, help me to redirect her and pray that someday the words that fly from her mouth without hesitation are ones of love and encouragement.

When she can't seem to sit still and is hanging from the rafters, help me to realize that she is healthy and full of energy and pray that someday she may redirect that energy and vitality to serve you.

When she finds it easy to argue and prove her point and never backs down, help me to redirect her and pray that she may someday unashamedly proclaim your goodness with determination, never backing down.

When she tells me she is mad and says that no one "gets me", help me to redirect her and pray that she will not only see that she is loved but that her heavenly father knows each thought before one of them even exists.

When she tells me at night as I tuck her in that she is sorry she broke my heart, help me Lord to show love to her and be encouraged and to know this path of a parent and child is not just for her, but for me also!

In Jesus' name,
Amen


As I talked with Eric about the day's events and then later spilled out this prayer I was reminded of our own ways of being strongwilled. Certainly my strongwilled actions are not as obvious as those of my five old. :-) But still I thought that there are things that I think, do, and say that display my true stubborn heart. I wondered what the Lord's prayer for my strongwilled heart would look like? I am grateful that the Lord redirects me and tells me that He loves me and encourages me by drawing me closer to Himself. Thank you Lord for the lessons I have learned from my strongwilled child!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

BIRTHDAY BASH!!



WE celebrated Kathryn's 13th birthday with a party at the pool. You can see the zebra theme....she is planning on doing her bedroom in MO in hotpink and Zebra! Well, she corrects me and says...zebra print! not the actual zebra animal! Thanks Uncle Doug and Aunt Julie and Maryah and Kayla! It is going to be perfect!



We have asked everyone to try and give her words of wisdom or something reflective as she enters this great time in her life. The words people wrote were special, but the fact that Kathryn took the time to read all of them was absolutely sweet. She really took each card and cherished the words.




Julia and I sang her a song called, The Blessing. I can't believe I actually made it through without crying. She was crying as we sang it to her. I am trying to figure out a way to put the song on here, but am not that techinically inclined. I may just post the words in another post.




Grandma Stuckey sang her a special birthday song as well. We had a sweet time and it couldn't have been more perfect. I didn't do a great job taking pictures. When we are at the pool it just gets a little busy and crazy. I didn't even get a family picture that day with Eric in it. We grilled hotdogs and hamburgers and just enjoyed our great friends. We are privileged to have our children know such great people.




The weekend before we had some friends from school and church join us at All Fired Up to paint pottery. We had a great time. I enjoy being around Kathryn's friends and they all did a great job with their pottery and I loved being able to get in and have NO CLEAN UP!






Happy 13th birthday Kathryn! You are a great teenager. Here are the top ten things I appreciate about you!

10. You forgive me so quickly and easily when I mess up! I really appreciate that!
9. You are artistic....gone are the days when you need my input or suggestions. I am now coming to you when I want to know if something matches. Your keen sense of color and patterns amazes me!
8. You are a great big sister. I love the way you share your creativity with people
7. You are a risk taker. I look at the things you do and realize at that age I could not...would not be able to be like you.
6. You are so friendly. Most Moms say their teen is unbearable, lacking in manner, etc. But not you! You are mannerly and a great friend to have!
5. You are creative. I love the poetry and songs that you write.
4. You are sensitive to the things of the Lord. You are responsive to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and it encourages me to do the same.
3. You don't let me EVER leave without hugging me and telling me, "I love you, Mom!." (even when I seem in a hurry and don't appreciate your effort) You have always been that way from day one! Better yet....when anyone returns you make them feel like they were truly missed! Again... you have always been that way!
2. You are pleasant! You work hard to demonstrate a pleasant disposition. It really is a pleasure to be around you.
1.You are the best 13 year old around! I am proud of you and blessed to have you!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Proverbs 21:30
"No human wisdom or understanding or plan can stand against the Lord."





I can't believe it has been almost a week since Eric was here for his surprise visit. I plan to post some pics but not all of them have been downloaded. I feel like today I am finally feeling rested from what proved to be a whirlwind of a weekend. But I wanted to go ahead and post something that has been on my heart.

One of the things we did while Eric was here was hike to the top of the Peaks of Otter. It really is iconic for this area. If you live in the Burg and haven't hiked the Peaks...you are missing out. As we posed for this pic we were all eager to hike and climb, unhindered in our spirits. In fact Ellie took off running as soon as that picture was taken. It doesn't matter how many times I hike that mountain I always feel like the top should be closer! We could "feel" like we were getting closer because the blue sky seemed to be getting closer! But then all of a sudden we would be winding down again. Julia commented that it seems like you "have to go down a lot to make it to the top!" Ah, but when we got to the top it was so wonderful. We picniced and enjoyed the view! Obviously the "work" of the hike melted away to the to majestic mountain scene that surrounded us. Everytime I see it I feel like it is just as glorious as the last time.

Over this past week since Eric's visit the reality that we are moving has set in. We talked constantly with the girls about the fact that we are "halfway" and that the next time Daddy comes it will be to move and we will be together. During this past week those realities have set in. It has revealed to me some strongholds of "control" that still linger in my heart. (I know it is hard to believe that I struggle with control!) As I sat in church yesterday I realized that I was still "mid climb" on this mountain hike. Honestly, I am beginning to struggle with our move, what I am leaving behind, giving up, etc. Now don't be misled here! My biggest desire is to be reunited as a family. But in all of the details, I had to confess that I regretted not being in control. As I was worshipping the Lord revealed to me that my strongholds were that of selfishness and flesh. I, deep down, regretted in some ways how all of the details fleshed out and what it was "costing me". It is really something I have been denying and not wanting to admit.I was convicted and had a renewed desire to embrace this change 100%. I prayed that I would release those fears and that I would be satisfied in His will for my life. I prayed "Lord help me to accept your will. It is the only place I will find freedom!" As only the Lord could....the next worship song had almost THOSE VERY WORDS! As I was singing I knew in a fresh way that the Lord would be faithful to guide me through dealing with these "losses". It was the Lord allowing me to see that blue sky on my mountain hike. I know I am not at the top yet, but I know through obedience I will be able to experience the beautiful view!





This whole experience has been a refining of my heart. I have been challenged to look at my motives, my actions, my passions, and my deepest desires. The Lord seems to be stripping the things from my life that I attribute to "ME!" and instead is replacing them with things and desires that I can only attribute to HIM! It is a scary place for me to be....without ME in control! But I know that I am experiencing the best that the Lord has for me. May He fill my heart with the passion to love Him deeply and may that flesh out in my life in ways that I can only attribute to Him!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Birthday Wishes to Daddy!




Wow, do we miss Daddy! His birthday is this week. We will miss being able to be with him this year. But we know that time is already flying by so our reunion will take place before we know it. So to celebrate his birthday I will list the TOP TEN things we love and cherish!

10. We love that Daddy sings. Honestly I would have said a few months ago that it gets old ...but I have LOVED watching the girls ASK him to sing to them on the phone. Everytime he is on the phone one of them invariably asks him to sing! He has made THEM have songs in their hearts. If anyone knows us...we sing everything!

9. We love that Daddy has memorized scripture. He has been a source of encouragement to us all when we have been stressed and discouraged by his absence. There are some verses the girls know JUST BECAUSE HE SHARES THEM WITH THEM REGULARLY! He has a wealth of scripture memorized and that passion has been renewed when his boss gave him the whole Bible on tape.....Did I mention that he has a great boss??

8. We love Daddy's cooking. This has been a sore spot for me in his absence as many of my meals have been greeted with sorrowful looks and thoughts of "meals that Daddy used to make" Not to mention I have yet to cook ALL WEEKEND and be a short order cook for the girls' wishes and whims. In one of the girl's own words...."We don't eat like that anymore since Daddy is gone." They miss your food....and I miss you making it!

7. We love that Daddy will play with the girls. Sometimes I get convicted that I do not "play" with the girls like I should. The man will drop whatever he is doing to do pretty much whatever they want to do. You could say they have him pretty tightly wrapped around their fingers. But it is a way that he serves them. He is the most doting man to the Yoder ladies....we really have come to realize how much we MISS that part of him being here!

6. We love it that Daddy is not afraid to cry in front of us. He is so sensitive. Yeah....he sometimes may not understand our emotional output...but his heart is so tender. He has seen the mercy and grace of the Lord and he has passed this tenderness on to each of the girls. I try to be too tough....he has made me more tender.

5. We love that our Daddy does the "dirty jobs" and would never think of asking us to do them. Now that he is not here.....wow do I miss that. Things like emptying the trash, taking the trash to the curb, cleaning the cars,etc.are things he does without ever complaining!!

4. We love that our Daddy loves to have fun! He is so much fun all the time!!! Sometimes I would say...."Can't you just be serious?" But now I realize what a gift he has given them ....my girls are creative, funny, and know how to put on a good show. I love it when he finds a funny movie to watch with them...They are forever quoting lines and doing things that are just....funny! Many of you have seen Eric's Elvis impression....need I say more! Almost every night I have someone performing something for me!


3. We love that our Daddy puts up with FOUR WOMEN! We do give him a Man Cave to escape to, but he is so patient with our wardrobe changes, hair rearranges and stuff that women do. He will ask sometimes...."Why do they do that?" But my response of "We're girls!" is enough and he usually smiles (sometimes sighs) and just stays quiet. It made me tear up when he told me the other day that he misses "our drama". He is a great father of daughters!


2. We love that our Daddy is going to be the best gate keeper ever! He jokes about keeping a shot gun above the fire place. But seriously, I see him as someone who will invest in the young men who come our girls' way. I don't see him shying away from being a part of their lives and "testing" them. It is with great anticipation that I ponder the way in which he will interact with the "fellows" that come knocking at our door! Of course they are hoping he will save the Elvis impression for when they get to know us better!


1. I'll use this one for myself....I love it that Eric loves me more than anyone ever could possibly love me! I know that for a fact. I have never doubted his love for me. Have we had stressful times?....You betcha!...but never have I doubted his love for me. He has loved me at my most unlovable moments. I am grateful to have a husband who cherishes me!


Well honey, Happy Birthday! Sorry we couldn't be with you! But know that these are just a short part of a long list of things we love about you! Happy Birthday!

Love,
Your Yoder Girls!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Power Bars!

Ephesians 6:12-14
12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,



Recently I got an idea from a friend's blog. She wrote about something she was doing with her boys this school year. She called it Meet me in the Hall! They planned to meet each morning and pray before school. To help it along they made prayer lists for each day of the week so that when they got together they were ready to pray. I really thought that was a neat idea. My attempts to have a consistent prayer time with the girls before school always seemed rushed and we usually prayed to "have a good day, etc."

I tried to think of where we could meet and the bar in the kitchen seemed best. But I didn't think it sounded too good to call it "Meet me at the bar!" so I am calling it Power Bar! We are planning to meet each morning to pray for specific things on our lists. Today worked well and I pray we will continue to do it each morning.

It was precious to sit down with them and decide what we wanted to pray for each morning. It opened the window to their hearts and allowed me to see concerns, burdens etc. It especially touched me that they wanted to pray for people who don't know the Lord! This morning when we were dropping Kathryn off (Yeah....we missed the bus on the first day)I saw two former students of mine walking into the building. I waved to them, and when the girls asked me who they were I told them and started to explain that it was very sad becuase their Mom has terminal cancer. Before I could say anything else.... Ellie piped up...."I am adding them to my power bar card!" So sweet! She may be my biggest challenge, but she has the tenderest of hearts! On one of her days she actually asked to write down that she would "have Jesus in my heart" I asked her what she meant and she told me she knows she needs Jesus in her heart to go to heaven but in our conversation she (in her own way) said she doesn't "get it" all quite yet. I told her I would add it to my card!

So thanks Amy for the idea. I pray that we will begin something that will have lasting effects!



My three favorite school girls....Kathryn --7th grade, Julia -- 5th grade, Ellie-- Kindergarten!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Oh Baby....not my baby???




Well, I made it to a day that some days I never thought I would see. Ellie is in Kindergarten! Today they had a day where just the "K-Kids" went to allow them to experience school without 500+ big kids in the building.
Ellie was a little bit nervous when we got to school, but overall she had a great day. The time with her has just flown by so quickly. While our time today was really fun,I could not stop pondering how quickly life seems to be passing! It seems like yesterday I was sitting in Bulls Restaurant celebrating a friend's birthday and telling her that I was pregnant!! (that is a birthday Julie will never forget!)
I am starting off this school year very differently.....NOT WORKING! It has afforded me quality time with the girls as I am not consumed with getting ready for a classroom of 4th graders. However, the time on my hands has been unusual and at times I feel like I have been floundering. Today was no exception. I felt like I was wandering through the kindergarten orientation like I was in some sort of out of body experience. I was overwhelmed by how fast five years has flown by and thinking about what the next five may hold for our family. It is sure to be exciting to see how the Lord will use us in Missouri, but I will be honest and say, sometimes.....the whole idea of moving scares me. I kept thinking today...."What will our lives be like in five years?"
This week I will have an opportunity for some definite time of solitude as the girls start school and I don't start my classes until Thursday. I really want to use it to seek and search out what it is the Lord has in store for me over the next few months....and years! I know that we are not to worry about tomorrow....and that the Lord has each day of my life numbered. But, as I thought about how fast these past five years have gone, I certainly was urged to seek the Lord concerning what He has in store for me, so that I might live each day for His glory.
Psalm 5:7,8
7 Because of your unfailing love, I can enter your house; I will worship at your Temple with deepest awe. 8 Lead me in the right path, O Lord, or my enemies will conquer me. Make your way plain for me to follow.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Home Sweet Home!

Here are some pics of the house. Eric along with his brother and friends have worked very hard on the outside and now the work on the inside begins. Sometimes I think about all that is transpiring and I feel like it is a dream. Doing all of this while we are "apart" from each other I am sure will pose challenges, but it certainly will not dampen any excitement! Front entryway

Kitchen for Eric.....err....I mean me to cook wonderful meals!

Dining area!


Eric keeps singing to the girls....It's my Father's house ....with a Big, Big yard where we can play "kick ball!"



View from the hallway from the bedrooms.

You have got to love the Buck....a Yoder original! this will most likely be the MAN CAVE!
Not pictured is ERIC's very own bathroom! He is very excited to be able to have a bathroom not shared with females! :-)

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Overjoyed!



This is how I feel! I am overjoyed. I can't even believe I can possibly feel this way after quitting my job, being apart from Eric, and feeling very strained as I approach my last paycheck. I think everyday about where we are and where we have been! Wow....it has been a journey. As I have reconnected with friends over this past summer and recounted the story with them...I am overwhelmed when I look back to a year ago. I am amazed at the path our lives have taken. Clearly the Lord is directing this change in our lives and we move full force ahead with great anticipation.

Eric is so very excited about his new job and has been working as much as possible on the house. (pics to come in next post). I can't tell you how the distance we experience geographically has brought us closer together in a unique way. Of course there are times when I feel like I can't do another day. But it has brought out some creative expressions of our love for one another. I will be the first one to say that he has done better than me. (of course I quickly remind him that I have 3 children who drain my creative juices!) But hearing his excitement, his hope, his contentment draws me to Missouri like never before.

I know that pulling up our roots here in Lynchburg will certainly rank up there as one of the most heart wrenching things we have ever done, but I pull them up with faith and trust in the Lord. He has been so faithful! I pray that I will treasure these moments in my heart and draw from the lessons I have learned and will continue to learn.

Psalm 62:1-2
1 My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken!


By the way...that is me in that photo....I can still jump at 41....definitely something to be thankful for!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Four Doors & a Bed!


"Four Doors & a Bed!" is what you might hear as you travel down the road with the girls and their Dad. It is "game" that started when he was explaining to the girls what kind of vehicle he wanted. They like to be able to spot one before he does. Those of you who know us , know that we are ....well "vehicularly challenged". I personally have a host of "breakdown" stories that usually involve long trips, smoke billowing out of the hood of my car, being stranded along the highway, etc. You get the picture. So, a Ford F150 --four doors & a bed didn't seem like it would be in our near future! Do not get me wrong....we are so very thankful for the modes of transportation that the Lord has literally bestowed upon us. But they do keep us on our knees! :0)
I was thrilled last month when my husband told me that the company that he is working for offered to allow him to use a company pickup truck. We were thankful that in the Missouri heat he would atleast have AC. (His car does not have AC...I told you we were "vehicularly challenged!"). Well, recently they sold the truck that he was using and consequently did a shuffling of trucks among the company. Guess what he ended up with? A Ford F-150, Four doors & a bed!

When you have a time in your family's life where there is uncertainty or struggle, one thing that eventually emerges is the thankfulness for all things....especially the small things. I love the song that Michael W. Smith sings with the line...."Everywhere I go I see you!" Whenever I listen to it I am challenged to see him in everything. Through our recent trial I have been more consciously aware of God's presence in everything. I feel like I have a heightened awareness of his working in the events of our lives. I see His hand in the small things and even the (gasp!) bad things!
I think it is no coincidence that he is able to drive that truck. But, it is not "getting to use the truck" that pleases me so much. But rather that the truck is just a daily reminder of God's genuine love for his children. He wants to bless me. There are so many other ways that the Lord loves me and provides for me daily. Four doors & a bed is just icing on the cake.
"For the Lord is good;
His lovingkindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations."

Psalms 100:5

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Julia's Baptism




Julia got baptised today. It is so wonderful to see your children follow the Lord in baptism. As we listened to everyone's story I was encouraged to see how the Lord works in different ways to draw people to Himself. Here is Julia's story: "I came to know the Lord when I was 9. I was having thoughts that scared me about what it would be like if God were not in my life. I knew if I did not accept Christ into my life I would not go to heaven. At first I considered accepting Him into my life nothing but a "get out of jail free card". But over this past year I have learned that being a christian is more than just about making sure I go to heaven. It's also about loving the Lord with all your heart. That's why he created me. I'm learning to live in Christ. Each day I understand about what it means to have him in my life. I want to follow the Lord in baptism."




.....If you look at what Julia is wearing it is the exact outfit that Kathryn wore last year when she got baptised. She has (on her own) called them her "holy" clothes. She cherishes this outfit as a symbol of her committment to Christ. When she outgrew the skirt she insisted that I not give it away, but that she wanted to keep it. When Julia was deciding what to wear, she went and got it. I know it is a little "hokey", but it was a sweet moment. It is a way that has allowed me to see that they see this act of obedience as important, special.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I Really Do NOT Like My Phone!


Many who know me or recieve texts from me probably know that I am beyond frustrated with my phone upgrade. It is far from user friendly and I just don't like it. At any rate, it is an imperative form of our family's communication so I put up with it until I am eligible for my upgrade. The other night, the malfunctions of my phone got the best of me in an unusual way.
I try to find ways to include Eric in the routine of our day. For example, we call him at night to pray with us at bedtime, listen to a story, etc. One night as we sat down to dinner late I had a grand idea. I suggested we call Daddy and let him ask the dinner blessing. We quickly realized he was not there and Ellie was going to leave a message to let him know the purpose of our call. (and the snowball begins rolling down the hill) As she began to leave a message, a discussion emerged between the girls and it caused Ellie to become irritated because she didn't think Daddy could "hear her" leave her message..... and she began to elevate her voice (shocker, I know!)After she left the message I can't even tell you how it all happened. It involved the combination of one of them misusing the venetian blinds on the sliding glass door to block the sun,the other one complaining that the sun was still in her eyes, and of course Ellie's escalating voice. Well, it was all like a big whirlwind.... All I wanted to do was let Daddy pray!
It all got the best of me....My tongue and the volume of my voice (Gee, I wonder where Ellie gets it!)just took over. The girls were staring at me. My heart was racing...After "it" was all over...all you could hear was the chinking of the forks across their plates. That is, until I heard my phone say...."Beep...You have reached your time limit for leaving a message!" Apparently, Ellie had NOT ended her call to Daddy! You got it...Not only had Eric gotten Ellie's message, but my heart was revealed!. No way to explain it away, no way to rationalize, no way...NOTHING! I guess you could say it was not one of my shining Mom moments.
I have since pondered that unforgettable moment, and besides asking for forgiveness from the girls I have thought about what if EVERYTHING I SAID WAS RECORDED FOR ALL TO HEAR! That would certainly make me more cautious about what I say. While I know the chances of that are pretty slim, I do know that the Lord not only hears every word I say and utter under my breath, but He also hears every thought I think. Why doesn't that move me like the "phone recorded outrage!"? It should move me daily. As I struggle in this area I am reminded of the passage in Psalms...

Psalm 19:14
"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."

I want this to be true when the recorder is on and off!

Consequently the whole episode produced a cool conversation about how the Lord uses the Holy Spirit to convict us and what that means...how it sometimes "feels", etc. So, I guess my Mother of the Year award is going to have to go to someone else this year. But atleast I have a fresh understanding that the words that flow from my mouth come from my heart!So, if I want to control my mouth I need to work on that old heart of mine! And, while I am thankful for this lesson, I still can't wait for my next phone upgrade!

Monday, July 6, 2009

"Mom, your breakfast looks gross!"



"Ewwwwwwww, Uh, Mommy...you're breakfast looks gross! No offense!" were the words that came from Ellie's mouth as she compared my "breakfast" with her breakfast of Cheerios and a partial donut she had saved from the day before. I laughed because compared to her breakfast my "protein" and "fruit" looked...well, gross!

Almost three years ago I set my mind to lose weight. I really had spiraled quite a bit out of control in that area. I found a program that worked and kept it off for almost 2 years. This past semester, my workload and life in general zapped every ounce of everything I had. I reverted to a regular old college diet....never eating breakfast...grabbing a quick lunch....eating a bagel for dinner...then being starved when I got home from class at 9:30....eating dinner then....staying up until all hours of the night...NEVER exercising... No worries, I have not gained back the 62 pounds I originally lost but some extra "l-b's" have snuck up on me and I have had the hardest time being disciplined! I am committed to getting back down where I feel better, but mostly I want that discipline back.

I read recently that being disciplined in any area is never permanent if it does not begin from within. As I contemplate being disciplined from within that brings to mind a whole host of areas in which I need to be disciplined. I am currently reading a book on raising teenagers ...since I am a burgeoning parent of a teen.(A task I am just beginning to understand!) One area that it talks about is being HONEST with your teen about areas in which you struggle. We can't expect to parent a teen and force expectations that we ourselves struggle with as well....anger, self centeredness, and pride to name a few. It has been a different perspective for me, a different angle to consider as I interact and see opportunities to come along side her and share the root of issues, etc. Of course it humbles me beyond belief because it has knocked me down a few pegs....Oh OK, it has completely knocked me off the ladder.

With Eric being gone I am clear that this is what the Lord wants me to "work on" "learn" "grow in". So, as I eat my gross breakfast I am reminded that more important than shedding this extra poundage...I need to be disciplined from within. That requires me to step up my game....be in His word more, seek ways to serve, love my children,...the list really could go on and on. Not everyday will be perfect. Believe me in the last four weeks I have had many days that were not good! But I am encouraged to know that God is faithful to his promises. The following scripture has been encouraging to me.
ISAIAH 40:28-31
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.


My strength will RISE as I wait on the LORD!

I miss my husband terribly...even the things that get on my nerves! (tee hee) but I know that the Lord will use this time to refine me and make me more like HIM. It may take many "gross breakfasts" to accomplish the task. But I am ready. Please excuse me while I go make my "gross dinner!"

Sunday, June 28, 2009

FIREWORKS


I can't believe that I never went to the fireworks and viewed them FROM the mountain. It was so fun. The girls and I had a great time. It did make me miss Eric a ton, because they had a blast. I even got an unsolicited thank you when we got home. Ellie loved the "rides" and we just had a perfect evening.

It made me think of things I want to do before we leave in December. I was mentally making a list as we listened to the performances and waited for the fireworks. The things that I have always said.."We should do that some time, or next year we should go here or go there." ... Now that I know my days here are "numbered" my urgency to complete these tasks is greater.

On my drive home I was thinking...wouldn't it be cool to live with that sense of urgency with other things too? Like ministering to that person who you have been burdened to call or talk with. It would be a lot easier if I knew I only had a certain amount of time to do something ...my urgency would be greater. It doesn't usually work that way. There is so much around me that I could be doing on a daily basis that would minister to others.

This morning at church we talked about being a church who is not mission minded....but mission engaged! What a concept. Not to just think and support the mission of the church but to be an active part in that mission, in our neighborhood, at our workplace.God has placed us in a perfect place right where we are. I think we get caught up in our small circles of friends and are super comfortable ministering to each other. That is certainly great...we are told to do that... and I have most certainly been the benefit of that. But our ministry needs to go beyond that, doesn't it? I really want to be able to be mission engaged. I will say, I am a little scared about what that means, but excited about how that would change my life.

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

Now....to make that list!

Friday, June 19, 2009

MOVING


We're moving....I have found myself saying that a lot lately. I have repeated the story over and over. My children at times have even sounded like me as they tell people about our move. It certainly has been an interesting 6 months. I remember telling people that my goal was to "make it to June".

Moving is not all that fun. But what a great feeling when it is all done! It has amazed me what I have let accumulate in certain areas of the house. It has astounded me what I have decided I can do without! It has humbled me at how many people gave of their time to help us pack and move. It takes someone pretty special to offer to come and clean out the nooks and cranny's of your house. I often thought that if I had only been more diligent in the past three years! :) I could have saved so much time. But the move has been made, and I am content.

I have had a "moving" within my own heart too. Though it has not always been fun, it is such a good feeling to have experienced it. I was amazed at what had accumulated within myself and astounded with what I finally realized I could do without. I was also humbled by how the Holy Spirit so gently helped me clean out the nooks and cranny's of my heart. I thought often I could have been more diligent over the past years to not allow so much clutter! But the move has been made, and I am content.
" Create in me a clean heart O God. Create a right Spirit within me!"

Sunday, February 8, 2009

BERGY?

Growing up I had a nickname...Bergy. It was from my last name, Solberg. I was affectionately called that by my Dad but others close to me called me that too. When I went to college it just seemed to go away. My Dad every now and then will call me Bergy or Berg or "Bergy Ol' Sol and a Soly ol' Berg." Honestly, I probably only have a few people today who if they saw me would call me that. I kind of miss it.
I thought it went well with the Blog.... Bergy's Blog!