This past week I had the wonderful opportunity to be reunited with so many great and wonderful friends. The girls and I went to New Jersey for a wedding by way of Virginia with a pitstop in PA! It has been a great week full of a whirlwind of activities, lots of conversations, little sleep, and lots and lots of laughter.We were happy to be able to squeeze in a couple of nights with Mimi and Pappy before heading back to Missouri. I have basically spent the last seven days spending time with loved ones. I am ready to leave tomorrow morning with a full heart, with a deeper understanding of how very blessed I am, and with a lesson learned.
We have been in Missouri for a little over a year now. While we do feel settled, there is, of course, a deep connection and "missing" of friends and family that are now separted from us by atleast 5 or more states. Some days we have struggled more with our move than others. However, time has allowed us to become more acclimated to our new home and has afforded us the opportunity to form relationships and become more connected to our Missouri setting.
It was as I drove down familiar Virginia streets that my heart was conflicted. I severly miss the familiar places, the special faces, the things that made our home....home! I drove down familiar streets literally with tears brimming, I met with dear friends, shared meals with loved ones, and "caught up" with so many dear people. It was like I was waiting to get that feeling, that notion, that we would be better off if we just moved back east! But it never came. Instead, I was reminded of the many things that have happened in our hearts and in our lives this past year. This trip has slowly become a confirmation of our move. With each get together and each encounter with "familiar" I sensed a resolve in my heart that the Lord has moved us to Missouri with purpose. Many of those purposes have actually already been fulfilled. But this trip has been for me a way of letting go. Not letting go of friends, but letting go of the fact that Lynchburg is my home. The conflict within my heart bothered me because I felt that letting go was synonomous with forgetting. My trip clearly has demonstrated to me that there is no possible way I can forget the many places and people that have helped make me who I am today. However, it has also encouraged me to realize in a deeper way that God's plan is so much deeper and better than anything I could have ever imagined.
I have had A LOT of time in the car. In other words, I have been thinking most of this trip. The Lord has shown me that there are other things I hold on to, not just dear friends from a former hometown. But more seriously, I hold on to so many things in my life that I feel like I should be able to control. In fact, I spend so much time trying to keep them firm in my grasp I miss out on the lessons that the Lord intends for me to learn. It is in fully surrendering those things I so firmly hold on to that I am truly able to receive and understand God's working in my life.
I believe the Lord has great things in store for our family in 2011. I think in order for us to be ready for them we had to be plucked from all that we loved and called our own so that we might be more open to hear what he has to say.
I begin 2011 with a full heart of what has been, and contentment for what is to be!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Christmas Morning Reflections
I will admit up front that the idea I got late last night was out of regret. The past few weeks our advent celebrations have seemed slack at best. I started a few years ago the tradition of hiding the baby Jesus for the girls to find each morning and correlating the reading of advent scripture to go along with the advent celebration. I was disappointed with how I allowed my tired body to rule over getting up a little early each morning to make it happen. We did "do the baby Jesus" (as Ellie would say every morning), but just not as much as I would have liked.
Since our last day of school on Wednesday I have tried to redirect our busy hearts (and my tired body) towards what it is we are exactly celebrating. I was beginning to revive my advent spirit. Back to my idea.....
Last night as I was setting the table for Christmas breakfast I had the idea to place a figure from the nativity set on each of our place settings to spark some discussion of what that person was thinking on Christmas morning. Our discussion was great! Ellie had the baby Jesus. She commented that even though babies can't think that he was thinking..."I can't wait to be with God!" We discussed what Mary knew about Christ's ultimate destiny on the cross, the fear of the shepherds and how Joseph must have overcome some serious issues to trust God for his future and continue caring for and loving Mary.
On my plate sat one of the wisemen. My first thought was that they most likely were feeling awe and wonder at the sight of Jesus. But then I started to think about the fact that they didn't even see Jesus on Christmas morning, they were still searching, looking, hoping. As our discussion continued we realized that they maintained their hopefulness despite their continued search. We thought about the satisfaction they must have felt when they finally did find him. We know that they searched for such a long time and that they must have had such a confirmation in their spirit when they saw him. It is a great feeling to have affirmation of something you have studied, searched for, believed in and then finally get an answer to!
Oh to have the endurance of a wisemen each day. Often times I lose endurance waiting for the "Lord to be found" admist my circumstances and journey in life. He has proved himself to us over and over. I should never wane in my search for him in every circumstance of my life. Acknowledging this should be something that is always in my heart and never far from my lips. I have been learning to live in the hope of our Savior. In the hope of his sovereignty. In the hope of the grace and mercy that he pours over us daily.
Countless times this past year we have stopped and "found" the Lord in our journey. We have "found" him admist our stress and our times of relief. We have found him in times of trouble and in times of joy. We have sensed him in times of famine and in times of feast. We have been filled with such awe and wonder the very moment when we realize and know that He is there, He is in it, He is in control.
Christmas morning is almost a memory. I sit here watching the girls work on a puzzle with Christmas music playing in the background. Ellie already has on a new outfit and it presently singing Away in A Manger to herself as she sits and organizes her stocking goodies. I am thankful for the awe and wonder of the birth of our Savior, Jesus. I am praying for a year of learning to seek him each day like a wiseman....unrelenting, with great intentions, unwavering, and being ready with the gift of my heart in hand to offer to the Lord.
My regrets of slack advent celebrations have melted away. I am encouraged to know that seeking him is not just an advent thing anyway. It's a daily thing. It's a learning process. It's something I will never be done doing until the day when I can actually bow down before Him and honor him like the wisemen did.
Since our last day of school on Wednesday I have tried to redirect our busy hearts (and my tired body) towards what it is we are exactly celebrating. I was beginning to revive my advent spirit. Back to my idea.....
Last night as I was setting the table for Christmas breakfast I had the idea to place a figure from the nativity set on each of our place settings to spark some discussion of what that person was thinking on Christmas morning. Our discussion was great! Ellie had the baby Jesus. She commented that even though babies can't think that he was thinking..."I can't wait to be with God!" We discussed what Mary knew about Christ's ultimate destiny on the cross, the fear of the shepherds and how Joseph must have overcome some serious issues to trust God for his future and continue caring for and loving Mary.
On my plate sat one of the wisemen. My first thought was that they most likely were feeling awe and wonder at the sight of Jesus. But then I started to think about the fact that they didn't even see Jesus on Christmas morning, they were still searching, looking, hoping. As our discussion continued we realized that they maintained their hopefulness despite their continued search. We thought about the satisfaction they must have felt when they finally did find him. We know that they searched for such a long time and that they must have had such a confirmation in their spirit when they saw him. It is a great feeling to have affirmation of something you have studied, searched for, believed in and then finally get an answer to!
Oh to have the endurance of a wisemen each day. Often times I lose endurance waiting for the "Lord to be found" admist my circumstances and journey in life. He has proved himself to us over and over. I should never wane in my search for him in every circumstance of my life. Acknowledging this should be something that is always in my heart and never far from my lips. I have been learning to live in the hope of our Savior. In the hope of his sovereignty. In the hope of the grace and mercy that he pours over us daily.
Countless times this past year we have stopped and "found" the Lord in our journey. We have "found" him admist our stress and our times of relief. We have found him in times of trouble and in times of joy. We have sensed him in times of famine and in times of feast. We have been filled with such awe and wonder the very moment when we realize and know that He is there, He is in it, He is in control.
Christmas morning is almost a memory. I sit here watching the girls work on a puzzle with Christmas music playing in the background. Ellie already has on a new outfit and it presently singing Away in A Manger to herself as she sits and organizes her stocking goodies. I am thankful for the awe and wonder of the birth of our Savior, Jesus. I am praying for a year of learning to seek him each day like a wiseman....unrelenting, with great intentions, unwavering, and being ready with the gift of my heart in hand to offer to the Lord.
My regrets of slack advent celebrations have melted away. I am encouraged to know that seeking him is not just an advent thing anyway. It's a daily thing. It's a learning process. It's something I will never be done doing until the day when I can actually bow down before Him and honor him like the wisemen did.
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