Thinking Heavenward

Have you ever had one of those days, those weeks, those months...where you realize that the Lord is incessantly trying to break through to you with a life-lesson of sorts? It seems as though recently the Lord has been bombarding me with circumstances and situations that all seem to direct me to the question, "Am I really living with a focus that is heavenward?"

It is almost hard to put into words what I have felt, experienced, and have been challenged with over the past month. It has been a conglomeration of so many different things. I recently have tried to use my "free" time in a more focused manner. Please realize that I use the term "free time" rather loosely. I feel as though my life is wound a bit tight so this free time usually is spent in the car or is between the hours of 10:00-12:00 at night. I sometimes listen to my i-pod or just try to spend time in solitude. I recently have been listening to a song on one of my tracks that narrows down what I feel the Lord has been trying to teach me. It is an old hymn that I have found myself playing over and over.

Jesus, keep me near the cross,
There a precious fountain
Free to all, a healing stream
Flows from Calvary’s mountain.

In the cross, in the cross,
Be my glory ever;
Till my raptured soul shall find
Rest beyond the river.

Near the cross, a trembling soul,
Love and mercy found me;
There the bright and morning star
Sheds its beams around me.

Near the cross! O Lamb of God,
Bring its scenes before me;
Help me walk from day to day,
With its shadows o’er me.

Near the cross I’ll watch and wait
Hoping, trusting ever,
Till I reach the golden strand,
Just beyond the river.

Refrain

I am more convinced and aware of the constant and unending distractions that interfere with me keeping a heavenward focus...one that keeps me near the cross...remembering the whole reason I live. Living free of those distractions is such a delicate balance. But the Lord has challenged my deepest and inner motives in so many areas of my life,areas in which I would have quickly claimed that I had no problems or issues. I have been challenged to think about what exactly I am living for each day. I have been challenged to examine my heart and have discovered areas that need tending to...that need to be directed "near the cross".

While it has been a time of conviction, it has also been so encouraging to think of all that the Lord has done for me. His grace and mercy that covers me and is ENOUGH! I realize that as I stay "near the cross" I will not wait in shame. I am able to thrive and grow and experience the life He has intended.

My heart is challenged. My life is changing. My God is oh so very good!

(sigh)

I have felt like the last few weeks have just been a blurr. I am getting done what I have to, but when I woke up this morning at 5:00 just so that I could put the dinner dishes in the dishwasher and "feel" a little more caught up I was reminded how so very busy this time of year is for me. I usually go into survival mode, totally rely on Eric for way too much, and seriously consider inventing a Caffeine implant!
I am really enjoying my new job, but the four new preps have me working pretty steadily. I am enjoying the challenges, but won't lie that having an extra day this weekend to get my life in order is most welcome. The imbalance of school and home is such a challenge to me. I know I have perfectionist tendancies so it is a challenge to decide what is important.
I am studying Colossians and keep this verse close at hand. "Let the peace of Christ guide all of your decisions, for you were called to live as one united body; and always be THANKFUL! Let the full richness of Christ's teachings find its home among you. Teach and advise one another wisely. Use psalms and hyms and Christian Songs, singing God's praises from joyful hearts. And whatever you have to do, with in speech or action, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, thanking God the Father through Him." Colossians 3:15-17
Usually I am drawn to the whole part of "doing everything as unto the Lord" which certainly is a good part. But I have been drawn particularly these past few weeks at the encouragement to

Let the full richness of Christ's teachings find its home among you.

I have been thinking about what that actually means to me during this most hectic time.
Not just knowing the FULL RICHES OF CHRIST'S TEACHINGS, but making them find their HOME IN YOU! Making them be as comfortable as home! I daily have been thinking of the riches of Christ's teachings and it has strengthened me and caused me to stop and take account of who I am in Christ and what I have in Christ....let's just say that my CUP IS FULL!
So, yeah I am tired and (sigh) this is an exhausting time of year. But I am so very thankful that the Lord is patient with me as I work at the things He teaches me and live them out to be as "comfortable as home!"